I
don’t have a crazy testimony. I didn’t break any drug or alcohol addiction when
I first came to know God. Matter of fact, I was raised in a Christian home.
I’ve gone to church all my life with the exception of a few years during my
parents rocky marriage, but I knew about God and had a sense of reverence for Him. But I
didn’t know Him. 7 years after my
first genuine encounter with Christ, I can say there is definitely a difference
between knowing about God and knowing God.
It
was my sophomore year of high school that my mom signed me up for a retreat.
Because let’s face it, every sassy, major ‘tude, “I do what I want!” teenage
girl needs some Jesus in her life! ;) I was ditching classes on the regular and
lacked motivation in my classes. It’s not that I was living my life
deliberately against God; it’s just that I wasn’t living my life for Him. He
was placed in a “Sunday only” box in my mind and stayed there. The week before
I went to the retreat, I got busted once again for ditching school and my mom was
done. She tells me now that she prayed that I would come down the mountain a
changed person, little did she know her prayer was soon to be answered.
The
retreat was almost like a vacation for me. I spent time catching up with old
friends, kinda sorta maaaaybe even sang a few worship songs, and came back down
wishing my church friends a great summer and I would see them next retreat.
(God speaks to you when you least expect it)
I
got home that Sunday and unpacked my things. I talked a bit with my mom about
how it was fun, and how nice the cabins were. That was it. That was the extent
of the impact of the retreat. While unpacking, something told me to read my
Bible. During my life, I’d always have those days when I would read the Bible
and promise myself I would keep reading daily. A day later I would be over it
and simply tell myself back to the “Sunday only” ritual. But this time was
different.
I desired to not just know about the God on Sunday, but to
know the God who also existed Monday through Saturday.
May 21st, 2005 I made the
promise that would change my life forever. I rededicated my life to Christ and
knew that there was no turning back. This was it, I told myself, I would never
leave Him again and this time it was for real. Someone should have busted a
Moonstruck Cher slap on me! Making the decision to follow Christ is the easy
part. Living a life dedicated to the Lord is a whooooole ‘notha story!
You see, the thing is that once you know the truth, there is
no way to unlearn it. It seeps into your heart and no matter what
you do, say, or who you hang with…it’s always there in the back of your mind.
Between
then and now, it’s been a rocky path. I’m not going to say I’ve been a great
Christian, because the reality is, I’ve failed countless times. I’ve made
choices that have had major consequences, tried to find comfort in
relationships and friendships, said things that I wish I can take back, and
have not represented Christ as I should. What I have discovered in the last
year is the power of His Grace.
Oh, God’s sweet sweet grace.
His
grace is what makes me love Him. His love for me, even though I don’t deserve
it, brings me back to Him broken and humbled. His favor in my life is what
makes me praise Him more because I know all good things come from above. His
constant guidance in my life makes me trust Him more because His will is always
better than my own. For the longest time, I played the religion card. If I go
to church every Sunday, get involved in ministry, teach children, read every
day for 30 minutes, pray for all the starving kids around the world, I will be
saved and have the golden ticket to Heaven! Duh! (Moonstruck slap…HERE!)
“For by GRACE you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God” Ephesians 2:8
As Christians, we often get stuck with the ideology that
being a “good Christian” means not cussing, not drinking, and going to church
every Sunday. If you believe this….I’M ABOUT TO BUST YOUR BUBBLE! Don’t get me
wrong, these are good, but they are not the foundation of what living like
Christ means. This is a safe idea of what being a Christian is. This is the
barely getting by, by the skin of my teeth Christianity. I don’t want to do
this anymore. I don’t want you to do this anymore. I want us to live outside
the bubble, outside our comfort zones.
I want to see you (yes, you!) become the person God has
called you to be.
So
dear friends, from my 23 years of experience (Yes, I count ALL my years of
life, cause you know I was so wise when I was 2) this is my life. It’s messy;
it’s full of disappointments, low times, anger and regrets. I’m not gonna act
like my life is perfect, because it’s far from it. I struggle daily, and have
to tell myself every morning, “Today I will live this day for the Lord”. But
it’s those bad times that have been the foundation of my faith. It is my
inability to grow spiritually by myself that has allowed me to trust in Him so
much more. And at the end of the day,
all I know is that life is better with Him, always.
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.James 1:2
In Him,
Anneliese
