Because of Jesus Christ, I can face every tomorrow!

 Reading everyone's personal testimonies on this blog has been just fascinating! Indeed "the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the seas." ~ Habakkuk 2:14 I met sister Alyssa on Instagram and she has been such inspiration for me. I hope my story will help people connect personally with the Gospel of the wonderful grace of GOD.  

I am 52yrs old, mother to 2 lovely daughters and a wonderful son very fond of creeping up on me with a startling "Mama, boo!", hence my nick Mamaboo on Instagram. My real name is Helen Regina given at baptism at the age of 6. I was raised in a Catholic home and got married to a non-believer businessman 32 years ago. That was the end of church-going...and GOD and the beginning of my life as a career woman after taking on a key role in the family's business empire. As our businesses grew and expanded rapidly, I became a workaholic - pretty much a frazzled "Martha" tossed between our hugely successful but extremely demanding businesses AND the guilt of a somewhat neglected home. Getting knots in my rope, I relied on frequent holiday getaways to untie them - a pathetic soul in bondage; trapped in the monotony of life, swallowed up and absorbed in the economic and financial affairs of the world. 

 Life was such a burden; like living in a prison, day-in day-out, the same routine. My children were sent off to prestigious schools abroad simply because I could afford the money but not the time with them. What a sorry state to be in! For a while, Mass was sporadic but soon afterwards, even GOD was no longer a priority as I was too consumed in my career, too busy and didn’t want to go to a church alone in a new city. I put off taking steps to meet Christians, to get involved with the body of Christ in my new community and eventually became isolated. In my busyness, I was missing out on the purpose of life, the world could not offer me the contentment I desired. My Bible was never far though I hardly ever read it. Although I knew Jesus died for me, I had very little knowledge about the Word and GOD apart from praying the Lord's prayer and Hail Mary, Adam and Eve, the 10 Commandments, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Noah's Ark, Jonah and a few other popular Bible stories. Looking back, I suppose Catholics, in general, hardly read much of the Bible and I wasn't very much encouraged to either. I remember carrying a rosary with me most of my life for "protection." 😏 How shallow my belief then. I guess I missed out on the encouragement Hebrews 10:23-25 said one needed to remain strong in their focus, faith and walk with the Lord. And yet - in moments of introspection and honesty, I knew deep down inside that I was missing out on GOD. Every time I drove past a church, my heart longed to go in but I was too caught up in life's grinding wheel to make that move. 

An encounter with the Lord put a stop to my tracks and an overhaul to my lifestyle when He spoke Mark 8:36 in a remarkable and revelatory manner. It was 4 April 2003 - a day I was to take my own life. I had driven across town and checked into a hotel for that purpose. The world was so loud. I was tired. So tired of living. Too tired to live another day. I was lost. I wanted to put an end to everything to have that peace. I don’t know if anyone can understand what this is like, but there was this kind of inner despair and emptiness that just eats away at your insides making every day miserable, another day to get through. I couldn’t see any purpose to life; nothing really made sense. The wealth, the success, the achievements were meaningless and could not fill the void inside of me. I had everything, yet I had nothing. I dreaded every day and wished I did not wake up to another day. Nothing mattered anymore.

Photo found on Google Images

 I remember holding my Bible and asking GOD for forgiveness for what I was about to do. I then heard a small tapping sound on the window beckoned me outside and as I stepped out, I noticed a beautiful dove had flown in and perched on the railings on the hotel balcony. It cooed for a good few minutes and then walked towards my Bible that I had placed on the table, as if asking me to open and read it before disappearing beautifully and slowly into the sky, over the rainbow and above the canopy of trees. As I watched it in flight, I felt so small and so insignificant. Birds were so much happier. What a mess I had made of myself. What a life. What a fool. Was all this worth it? Is it worth it? Will it ever be worth it? I remember looking into the heavens and crying out to Jesus in distress for the first time in my life - 

"I wish I were a bird. I want to be free, Jesus. So free. I want to be a bird. Please set me free, Jesus."  

Sorrow and repentance came upon me as I wept and wept uncontrollably. Then I heard an audible voice, 

"What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" 

I was awestruck and thought I was dreaming. Then something stirred within me to open the Bible and Matthew 6:26 stood out:

 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap, or store in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

 I felt a tremendous warmth envelope me and the loving presence of God in the room and wept even more. Then I felt the heaviness lifted from my heart. I felt the chains that enslaved me broken. His words lifted the veil from my heart and suddenly everything became clear. So much transpired within the next few hours of that grace-outpouring afternoon as I fell on my face weeping in His presence in total repentance and surrender pleading for His mercy and forgiveness. I laid myself, my past, all that I was at the feet of Jesus that afternoon and received my forgiveness and deliverance, and 14 Scriptures from the Lord and above all, a blessing - a new beginning. GOD spared me. 

After restoring fellowship with GOD in Jesus Christ and the release from the bondage, I have experienced the freedom to live a new life in the spirit. I renounced myself and asked Him to be the cornerstone for a new life in Him. I rediscovered my purpose. The Spirit of God had put a consuming desire in me to know Jesus and an insatiable appetite for the Word of God and I began reading the Bible and I read... and I read.. and I read every day, every night, day in day out for a long, long time. The only prayer I prayed for a long time afterwards was to plead with the Holy Spirit to quicken my knowledge and understanding of my Lord and Saviour Jesus through the Word. I felt left behind for so long. I began chasing after GOD, so to speak. I wanted to be where He was happening. I joined every prayer meeting, every church gathering, every retreat, every conference I could, everything and anything that I could lay my hands on about GOD I wanted. I would skip dinner and wait outside the church door so I would not be late for our meetings. If I read too late into the night on Saturdays, I would not go to bed so I would not miss Church Sunday mornings. The family, on the other hand, thought I had gone crazy. It was, however, the beginning of a real joy that could only be realized in that fellowship with, in and through JESUS CHRIST. He became the sum and substance of my life and brought eternal significance to it. Suffice it to say, I could see now as I had never seen before; I could feel now as I had never felt before; and I could know now as I had never known before. No longer do my own pursuits, circumstances and the world's influence have any depth of significance. Suddenly life matters. Suddenly life was full of excitement. Suddenly life was worth every breath I have. The truth is that nothing on earth will ever give lasting satisfaction because I was created for eternity. Now the things I do are charged with eternal meaning. The real treasure is who I am in Christ and not what possessions I have. My hope is anchored in Him. Jesus Christ has made my life profoundly worth living as a pilgrim, not a prisoner on earth. I can now lose myself in service for I have found myself in Christ and made a commitment to serve Him no matter what happens.

I can relate with what Solomon in the Book of Ecclesiastes dragged us through the pointlessness of a life without God:

 "Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless, Everything is meaningless! What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun? Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind." 

 Judas sold Christ for less than 30 pieces of silver and I had sold my soul for something just as trivial because I chose everything else of this life over Christ. My experience has changed my perspective and the course of my life forever and took me to a higher level of faith, hope and trust in GOD. There is more to life than our limited spheres of knowledge and I hope to help people find the key to their own stories of faith and struggle and come to the truth that our status is not dependent on our relationship to a person or a thing but with Jesus Christ.  

Seek the things which are of Jesus Christ ~ Philippians 2:21 for our citizenship is in heaven. ~ Philippians 3:20 Remain in Him and continue in Him. ~ 1 John 2:27-28

Funnily enough, I wrote a letter to GOD that day (which I cannot believe I did if I didn't recognize my own handwriting) that I still keep tucked between the pages of my Bible: 

 "Father in heaven: I need Your love and saving grace. Please forgive my sins as I forgive those who have sinned against me. Come into my heart to become my Saviour and lead me into a life everlasting. For many are called and few are chosen. I confess I do fall short of your glory. Renew my spirit and show me the way to this narrow gate to Your kingdom where there only will I find a life with You, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I present to You my body as a living sacrifice that You may fill it with the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to endure to the end. And, as I continue to find my way to you, save me and deliver me from the evil one and let me live a life everlasting full of the peace, joy and love that I need. For Yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. In Jesus' name I pray for He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and only through Him will I come to You. Amen." 

Later that same year, He brought my husband and our children to salvation to receive His grace and blessing. We named our house "EMMANUEL" that year and God IS with us. What complete joy and what a blessing since JESUS took over as the head of our house. Our Father is a faithful GOD who saves by the households. ~ Acts 2:39, 16:31

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him. 

~ Philippians 3:7-9 

Whom have I in heaven but You?

My flesh and my heart fail;

And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

~ Psalm 73:25-26 

This is what the Bible says in Luke 19:10 concerning JESUS CHRIST,

 "The Son of GOD has come to seek and to save that which is was lost."  

God's abundant grace, God's overflowing peace, God's everlasting love, God's unfailing promises and more... 

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. 

~ Matthew 6:33 

What a blessing to know this! 

➡ Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. ~ 1 John 2:15-17

➡ Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. ~ James 4:13-14

My prayer for you, beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, is that you will never permit anything to come between you and Christ, and that you will continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus. If we find that whatever we do is encroaching our daily lives to the extent that we do not have time for the Lord as we ought, then we ought to choose even being less prosperous or rich in this world rather that our souls perish. Take heed the words of our Lord Jesus in Matthew 7:24-25 about building our foundation on the imperishable Word of God. He compared it to a wise man who builds his house on the rock: 

"when the rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation built on the rock." 

If you have not received Jesus Christ as your LORD and SAVIOUR, come to Him today... as helpless and unworthy as you are, without righteousness, without any hope. Mercy, pardon, grace and full salvation awaits those who seek Him. The adversary will look back at your past and see all your mistakes but God looks back and sees the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ who died on the cross for you so that you would not perish but have eternal life. He sees what you can become in His grace and power. Today is the day.The Bible says that today is the day of salvation. 

"Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation

  ~ 2 Corinthians 6:2

 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. 

~ Proverbs 16:25

 Let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole. This is the ‘stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone.' Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.
 ~ Acts 4:10-12  

Apart from faith in Jesus Christ there is no salvation. Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. 
~ John 14:6. 

Blessed Orfa

Hi! My name is Orfa Vargas-Ponce I am a 45 year old woman and a mother of 3. I just want to share a little bit about my life and how I came to know the true Love of God. Unlike the previous Precious Sisters / brother who shared their testimonies, I did not grow up in a Christian home or knowing Jesus as I know him now, I knew about him and a lot about the saints & which saints interceded for what and that was it. 

 I was about 7 years of age When I asked Jesus to come into my life and this was being a catholic & all. I didn't even know I was catholic until I was about 10 and that was because my parents had told me so. Any how it's complicated but that will have to be told at another time =)

Throughout this brief testimony, I will be sharing some of my favorite verses as they helped me through some critical moments in this phase of my life.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Let me tell you what happened 4 years ago, I was in the middle of a lot of Trials & tribulations and without God in the midst, what did I expect right? This included my marriage, children rebelling, no job security, no reliable transportation and not to say the least MEDICAL Crisis! (This is what triggered the change in my life and I should have trusted in the Lord)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to GOD.
Philippians 4:6

I had finally made a doctor’s appointment for my yearly checkup. A normal process (so I thought) as I went to my appointment the doctor found something not normal within & told me that I had to get some test done to define them, I said, "okay no problem."  A week later the results of the test came in (not good), so now a biopsy had to be done because they found something in the results (now this was NOT Good at all). I started to panic & freak out.  “OH MY, what’s really going on” I was crying, and called my husband looking for comfort, this is when I started to learn that I needed God to help and take control of my life because prior to that, I was able to handle everything on my own. I'm independent, a hard worker and a loving mom, so I didn't think I need anyone to feel sorry for me or any help from anyone, WRONG!!!

By this time , let me tell you, I remembered how to pray, I surprised myself because it was what I thought a sincere prayer, it was straight from the heart (because in the past I wanted to pray with big words and be all holy) NO.. God wants me/you to pray from a humble and sincere heart.  Your own words… I did that, I felt his comfort, love and peace in such a way I have never experienced it.

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.
Nahum 1:7

A couple of days later I get a call from my Doctor telling me I had to get a procedure done ASAP because I was in the ends of stage 3 for cervical cancer and if I didn’t get the procedure done soon I was looking at critical stage 4. (WHAT! God, where are you and why aren’t you hearing my prayer request?) Am I going to DIE, because that was the first thought that came to mind? (Again I did not trust the Most High, my Abba) 

Love the LORD your GOD with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:5

As all of this was taking place I was overwhelmed with what was going on in my life but especially my kids. I started missing them and feeling like if I still had so much to do and I did not have enough time!!!? (Weird feeling of emptiness and those who know me know what my kids mean to me) Within days my life was falling apart, so I thought, little did I know that God had something else planned out for me. Again Proverbs 3:5-6 came in to place at this time.

Give Thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:18

God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19

In a matter of 2 weeks after the entire dilemma, I learned to submit, humble & cry out to God for help, comfort, endurance, strength and LOVE.I did not want the kids to know what was going on so I would cry in the shower, on my drive to work & just in my time alone, I would desperately cry out to my Abba father to help me understand why I was going through this. (In between the dilemma my husband had told the kids that I had cancer and that they had to behave, and be supportive because we did not know the criticality of it, Mind you, I did not know this). This caused my children to carry a burden... I'm thinking somewhat like insecurity?

God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.

Ephesians 3:20

So once the Lord started to reveal himself & answer me, I asked him to have compassion with me (mind you, I'm thinking the worse at this time and preparing to leave things in order cause I was going to DIE! So I thought) and since I had no inheritance to leave my family there was no money, no properties nor anything in my name for my children in case things took a turn for the worse, I then prayed for the Lord to allow me some time teach them the most IMPORTANT and lifetime guarantee, a life changing experience and of Worth for my children and that would be for them to get to know Christ! (I'm crying here). The knowledge of Jesus Christ would be what I would leave as an inheritance for my Children.

The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. 

Psalm 145:13

So I had my procedure done, my husband went with me, though we were distant he was there for me, this is where the Lord also revealed himself to me. My husband was worried & cried with me as they did this procedure (doctors did not put me under so I knew what was going on). The procedure was successful but I did have to have monthly doctor appointments (yeah! I praised the Lord for a great outcome I also told my children as they were also carrying a burden of what if’s, if we lose mom or what are we going to do etc.)

As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD. 

Joshua 24:15

By this time I was down on my knees with constant prayer & submission as well as adoration for my Abba father because during the year of constant doctor appointment my children and I started going to church. (Joyful cries AMEN! Hallelujah) within the year the Doctor cleared me and stated “Orfa, you are cleared, it’s like you never had anything wrong with you” PRAISE GOD!!! (Tears of JOY) 

Shout with joy to God, all the earth! See what God has done, how awesome his works in our behalf!
Psalm 66:1,5

God Has blessed me in all my circumstances and continues, therefore I Love to be called “Blessed Orfa”

To all Daughters/Sons, I pray for you and want to tell you that prayers are answered always, don’t ever hesitate or second guess the worth of prayer, the Lord continues to answer my prayers and has told me “I will show you what I can do and MORE” whoa, I keep that close to my heart and use it in all my prayers as a promise because he keeps his promises to us.  Until next time.
Love and Blessings to you all always,

 - Blessed Orfa

GRACE

            I don’t have a crazy testimony. I didn’t break any drug or alcohol addiction when I first came to know God. Matter of fact, I was raised in a Christian home. I’ve gone to church all my life with the exception of a few years during my parents rocky marriage, but I knew about God  and had a sense of reverence for Him. But I didn’t know Him. 7 years after my first genuine encounter with Christ, I can say there is definitely a difference between knowing about God and knowing God.

           

 It was my sophomore year of high school that my mom signed me up for a retreat. Because let’s face it, every sassy, major ‘tude, “I do what I want!” teenage girl needs some Jesus in her life! ;) I was ditching classes on the regular and lacked motivation in my classes. It’s not that I was living my life deliberately against God; it’s just that I wasn’t living my life for Him. He was placed in a “Sunday only” box in my mind and stayed there. The week before I went to the retreat, I got busted once again for ditching school and my mom was done. She tells me now that she prayed that I would come down the mountain a changed person, little did she know her prayer was soon to be answered.

           

 The retreat was almost like a vacation for me. I spent time catching up with old friends, kinda sorta maaaaybe even sang a few worship songs, and came back down wishing my church friends a great summer and I would see them next retreat.

(God speaks to you when you least expect it)

            I got home that Sunday and unpacked my things. I talked a bit with my mom about how it was fun, and how nice the cabins were. That was it. That was the extent of the impact of the retreat. While unpacking, something told me to read my Bible. During my life, I’d always have those days when I would read the Bible and promise myself I would keep reading daily. A day later I would be over it and simply tell myself back to the “Sunday only” ritual. But this time was different.

I desired to not just know about the God on Sunday, but to know the God who also existed Monday through Saturday.

May 21^st, 2005 I made the promise that would change my life forever. I rededicated my life to Christ and knew that there was no turning back. This was it, I told myself, I would never leave Him again and this time it was for real. Someone should have busted a Moonstruck Cher slap on me! Making the decision to follow Christ is the easy part. Living a life dedicated to the Lord is a whooooole ‘notha story!

You see, the thing is that once you know the truth, there is no way to unlearn it. It seeps into your heart and no matter what you do, say, or who you hang with…it’s always there in the back of your mind.

            Between then and now, it’s been a rocky path. I’m not going to say I’ve been a great Christian, because the reality is, I’ve failed countless times. I’ve made choices that have had major consequences, tried to find comfort in relationships and friendships, said things that I wish I can take back, and have not represented Christ as I should. What I have discovered in the last year is the power of His Grace.

Oh, God’s sweet sweet grace.

            His grace is what makes me love Him. His love for me, even though I don’t deserve it, brings me back to Him broken and humbled. His favor in my life is what makes me praise Him more because I know all good things come from above. His constant guidance in my life makes me trust Him more because His will is always better than my own. For the longest time, I played the religion card. If I go to church every Sunday, get involved in ministry, teach children, read every day for 30 minutes, pray for all the starving kids around the world, I will be saved and have the golden ticket to Heaven! Duh! (Moonstruck slap…HERE!)

“For by GRACE you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God” Ephesians 2:8

            As Christians, we often get stuck with the ideology that being a “good Christian” means not cussing, not drinking, and going to church every Sunday. If you believe this….I’M ABOUT TO BUST YOUR BUBBLE! Don’t get me wrong, these are good, but they are not the foundation of what living like Christ means. This is a safe idea of what being a Christian is. This is the barely getting by, by the skin of my teeth Christianity. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want you to do this anymore. I want us to live outside the bubble, outside our comfort zones.

I want to see you (yes, you!) become the person God has called you to be.

            So dear friends, from my 23 years of experience (Yes, I count ALL my years of life, cause you know I was so wise when I was 2) this is my life. It’s messy; it’s full of disappointments, low times, anger and regrets. I’m not gonna act like my life is perfect, because it’s far from it. I struggle daily, and have to tell myself every morning, “Today I will live this day for the Lord”. But it’s those bad times that have been the foundation of my faith. It is my inability to grow spiritually by myself that has allowed me to trust in Him so much more.  And at the end of the day, all I know is that life is better with Him, always.  

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

James 1:2

In Him,

Anneliese 

           

Loved by Love Himself

Hi daughters and sons! I'm Loida AKA lloyds, lloyders, yoda, and Loda. I guess people like to make some names up for me! I like them all :). As I'm writing this I'm laying on my couch on my iPhone tapping away at the screen thinking about how beautiful and awesome God has been in my life. So I was asked to share my story. And what's awesome is that we all have one. So as I share my life I pray that you may find that we don't walk this path alone. But together as one in Christ.

I am 25yrs old and the youngest of three. My older brother is 10 years older than I am and my sister is 4 years older than I am. And if you've been following revelations of a daughter than you've already read about my sister (Ruth). She remembers more of our childhood than I do, and she has an awesome testimony about how God freed her from the grip of depression.

 I've seen Gods hand upon my life in many situation but never really came to an intimate relationship with Jesus until before my junior year in High School. What I can remember growing up was when my parents stopped going to church and when they reverted to old habits. When my dad started to drink again and would get so drunk he would get up at night to go to the restroom and instead of going to the bathroom he would end up in the closet, he would argue and fight with my mom, he would yell at us, and he would come from work already drunk. This went on for years, and on top of my dad drinking my mom no longer was working so therefore we hardly could pay for our house or pay the utility bills. This one incident I remember we didn't have enough money for bills and the electricity was shut off and my mother, sister and myself were home afraid, almost in tears, waiting for my dad knowing he was going to blow up. And sure enough he did. That's what I remember in my childhood. I remember my parents always arguing and me being afraid that it was my fault, that I did something wrong. I was filled with guilt at young age. I was full of shame and anger for what was going on at home and it spilled out in my social life at school.

I tried to be a rebel but was to scared to do something wrong. I was lost in my own way of thinking of myself. I thought that I was a horrible person. That I came into this world as a problem. I was terrified of arguments so I would always try and please everyone. I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself because I felt like I didn't have a voice. And I was alone because I could never let anyone ever really see me. I carried this way of thinking into High School, and in high school I joined the girls basketball team trying to find some sort of community and family.

I made friends with a girl my freshman year and immediately I noticed something different about her. There was something that made her seem light, like if she had no worries or anxieties. She was always smiling and she always was encouraging. So I was drawn to her and as we became friends she began to tell me about Jesus Christ. No one, ever had told me about the redeeming love of Jesus. No one had ever shared with me about what Jesus had done for me on the cross. She was the FIRST person that introduced me to Christ, in fact, she was the only person to tell me about Christ in high school. Well, my new friend gave me an invitation to pray with her and accept Jesus into my life, and at the moment I rejected her and Him. I said no to the freedom of knowing Christ and decided to stay chained to my negative thinking. And the enemy fed on my response to Jesus. Throughout the next year I went through more pain in my life, more loneliness, and more solitary moments than ever before. I was surrounded by friends and family but never truly opened up and allowed someone to really see or help me. And I dug myself, what I felt like, a hole. A hole where all I thought about myself was how ugly I was, and how shameful and weird I was. And how if anyone really saw me they wouldn't love me anymore. So one day in the quietness of my room, alone, I cried (which was normal at night). And I sat up on my bed and said

"God, I'm tired. I'm tired of hating myself. Please come into my life and help me."

 So with tears filling my eyes I didn't know what else to do so I turned on the tv to TBN thinking

"I just need help."

 and the man on the tv that night said

"You've been feeling hurt and alone and God wants to let you know He is there for you and he will love you every step of the way!" 

So I jumped at the opportunity to pray. And at that moment I prayed that Christ may be the Lord of my life. And from that day on its been rainbows and butterflies!!!

Yea, RIGHT!!!

I struggled, a lot. I found help in my friend from 9th grade. She prayed for me and help me read the bible. Then in my close friend's life the Holy Spirit was working and she accepted Jesus into her life. She invited me to her church and that's been my home for almost 9 years!

It was a struggle to really understand that God called me beautiful, wonderful, and His daughter. I knew it because I felt His peace and His presence, I trusted that the Bible were His words so I clung to it as if it were my breath. But my head and my thoughts would betray me and I would struggle with the old way of thinking. I couldn't understand how God fully knowing me would love me and still do what He did on the cross for me. And at the same time I was falling in love with Him because He was never scared of my thought life. He walked right into it and began to clean it up.

There's been times in my ride with Christ where I've felt dry and separated from Him. There's been times where I've refused to come to my hiding place with Him. But I've come to a place in my life where I know, that I know, that I KNOW that I am a Daughter of the God of the universe, that I have been adopted by the creator of the heavens and the earth. That regardless of all the junk that I've brought into my life, He still looks at me with loving eyes and is always waiting for me with an open and loving heart! There is really no one like Him. And because he loves me, my response is to love Him back. My hearts desire is that this LOVE of the FATHER be made known through me.

My prayer is that you, the reader (son/daughter) may NOT feel as If you are alone. That you may find a story that you can relate to here on Revelations of a Daughter. That you may find encouragement, joy and laughter through these words. And that you cry with us as we cry with you. And that you may find healing as we find healing. I know my story is different, as is everyone's, but I pray that your heart is stirred to really know that you have a DaDDY that will pursue you, and will give you love and identity! May Daddy God bless your hearts as you end this and as you read some of my favorite scriptures!

Mucho Amor para todos :)

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in numbers than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. 

(Psalm 139:13-18 NKJV)

---And--- 

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. 

(Romans 12:2 NKJV)

Ruth Isabel Arriaga . . . Daughter of the Most High

First of all, I want to say how excited I am to be coming along side Alyssa Ponce in such a beautiful way. I hope that through this many healings happen, not just in my life but in the life of anyone of you reading this.

Alyssa wants me to first share a little bit about me, not a very exciting post, but non the less its me. So here we go.

Like I said my name is Ruth Isabel Arriaga, and I'm 29 yrs old who's single with a heart to know more about my Savior Jesus. But even in my singleness I've sure had many  moments where all I could think about is having a boyfriend. But non the less I cherish my relationship with Jesus, right now the way I am single and loving every minute of it no matter how hard it can be. It reminds me of this scripture I read just this morning. It goes,  

"though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of MY salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deers feet; and He will make me walk on the high hills." Habakkuk 3: 17-19. 

Its a beautiful scripture and one I will forever hold dear to my heart.

I was raised in an EXTREMELY pentecostal home. Where the women didn't wear make-up, nor pants, nor jewelry, nor dye their hair. We couldn't go a day without having our hair covered especially if we were in the presence of God. That's what I mean by extremely pentecostal. I have to say that, that is one reason why growing up I wasn't the most social kid around. I was shy, super duper sensitive ( i still am) and I had a hard time making true friendships. Besides all that my parents were so OVER protective. We couldn't go over friends houses to go to a parties, sleep overs WHAT?!?! ne se diga! So you could imagine, my already natural habits were getting worse. To top it off my parents where at church, whats seemed like 24hrs a day. No joke! And please don't get me wrong I love my parents to death, this isn't a rant of how horrible my life was growing up, its just a way so you could get to know me a little better. I absolutely thank God for the household he chose for me, and now at my age would never for a million yrs have it any other way.

I have an older brother, who was and is the one who will always pick on his sister. I love him so much and am so proud of him and the person that he is allowing God to mold. He is going to get married this year, WOOHOO. I also have a younger sister who by the way is pretty darn AH-MAY-SING! She has become my best friend, and my I add she was one of the first people to start leading me to repentance! Well knowing what I know now, it was the Holy Spirit. But any who, that's a bit about my growing up and my family.

Now for the more interesting part of the story. Lol! I was saved in 2004 at a Billy Graham crusade here at the Rose bowl in Pasadena California. Billy Graham himself lead the prayer to accept Jesus that night. And I remember clearly that Third Day was leading worship that night. I remember he made the altar call, and I was so hesitant. But my sister looked at me and saw that something in my heart had been stirred. So she said what any christian would say in that situation, or actually maybe just my sister, "do what you want to do" lol maybe she said it in a more delicate way. But anyways, I went I did the prayer, cried my eyeballs out, and then, someone took my information, but come to think of it, no one ever followed up with me. Hmm, I wonder what happened to my info. It must be in the christian database, under the title of ' need to contact immediately'! lol! I didn't have this radical change happen to me. For me, its been a snail pace change, believe me. S.N.A.I.L pace.

The moment that I felt the radical change of Gods ultimate love, was one day in my shower. It really all hit me at once and I had come to my wits end. And the thing that led to that moment was a serious case of DEPRESSION, dun, dun, dun!

I had spent the previous 2 and 1/2 years under a serious "spell" of depression. I didn't find joy in the things I would normally find joy in. My sarcasm level increased 2 fold, 3 fold maybe even 4 fold. The thought of suicide never did enter my mind, I think because I was to scared that my parents would come hunting me down in the "after life" just to give me a good whooping! lol!

But on the real, I never thought of suicide, but I did want to runaway from life. It hurt too bad. Even taking a breath hurt. I would cry every chance I got. I felt so incredibly alone. I mean, when I say I felt alone I felt alone. I hated myself. I hated my family, my friends where never true friends cause they didn't know what I was going through. Nobody asked, therefore in my mind they didn't care. What a lie! That's why I call it a spell! Its like the devil snatched my body and made me a puppet. No happiness what so ever. No light at the end of the tunnel. And in my mind NO BODY REALLY LOVES ME! I HATE MY LIFE! I NEED TO LEAVE THIS JOINT CAUSE I CANT BREATHEEEEEE HERE!! That's exactly what I felt and there was no one around. I was sucking the life out of myself and there was no one around to help me. I had pushed people so far away from my life that I didn't know where to turn. And the devil was just laughing, pulling the strings tighter around my neck. Little did I know that I was the one who made my own noose .

The morning of my deliverance came in such a weird form. I totally did not see that coming. And the situation the Lord used was so unpredictable as always! I became jealous of my sister. I had been with out a job for almost 2 years and she came back from a job interview that day boasting about how good it went and that she loved the place and how much they would pay, and inside of me a pang of jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. OOOh I hated her at that very moment. But at the same time I hated myself for what I was feeling. So I went into the shower, pretty much right after our convo, and as soon as the water hit me, it was burning me. The rage that was inside was so strong! I remember at that very moment I asked why? still no answer! I was so angry with God for yet again not answering me. So I finished I stepped out of the shower and the flow of tears just came, at that very moment I hear a voice saying,  'ask me for help, not the why' and as hard as it was I held my head and just said ' i need you Jesus, I cant do this by myself anymore. Please help me' And the craziest thing happened right at that moment. I felt like this dark veil come up from my feet and undo itself from around my head. And all of a sudden I was seeing myself. Not the image of the person I used to be but the new creation. And I saw a brilliant light surrounding me, and at that very moment I felt the embrace of my father. I felt the love of my Daddy saying to me I LOVE YOU DAUGHTER!!

And ever since then my life has not and will not ever be the same. I have my struggles here and there, and the Devil is known for using old ammo, so every now and then I feel the sting of my old depression hit, but it will never be me making that noose.

I plan on always living my life with the Love of Christ in the fore front of my thoughts. That even in my moments of wilderness, which I know there is more to come, will I ever let myself think that I am alone. Because that is far from the truth. I want my life to reflect thankfulness toward my one true love and most important I want to live my life with a connection so deep to the friend who is closer then my skin, Holy Spirit!

Oh my dear dear friend. Without You this life of mine would be uncontrollable chaos. Without you in me, my life would be my own. And that is unimaginable. I love you Holy Spirit, more then the air that I breathe. The thought of your presence in me, brings tears to my eyes. I love you my dear friend, my comfort in time of need. You bring me closer to the presence of my Creator and for that I am indebted to you.

Well there's a little about me! I cant wait to share more of my heart with all of you! Love you!

Remember to live your life, from Glory to Glory to Glory! Praise God in the downs just as much as in the ups. He is always with you! No matter how deep in the wilderness you are.


Much love and blessings from a Daughter of the Most High :)