First of all, I want to
say how excited I am to be coming along side Alyssa Ponce in such a
beautiful way. I hope that through this many healings happen, not just
in my life but in the life of anyone of you reading this.
Alyssa wants me to first share a little bit about me, not a very exciting post, but non the less its me. So here we go.
Like I said my name is Ruth Isabel Arriaga, and I'm 29 yrs old who's single with a heart to know more about my Savior Jesus. But even in my singleness I've sure had many moments where all I could think about is having a boyfriend. But non the less I cherish my relationship with Jesus, right now the way I am single and loving every minute of it no matter how hard it can be. It reminds me of this scripture I read just this morning. It goes,
I was raised in an EXTREMELY pentecostal home. Where the women didn't wear make-up, nor pants, nor jewelry, nor dye their hair. We couldn't go a day without having our hair covered especially if we were in the presence of God. That's what I mean by extremely pentecostal. I have to say that, that is one reason why growing up I wasn't the most social kid around. I was shy, super duper sensitive ( i still am) and I had a hard time making true friendships. Besides all that my parents were so OVER protective. We couldn't go over friends houses to go to a parties, sleep overs WHAT?!?! ne se diga! So you could imagine, my already natural habits were getting worse. To top it off my parents where at church, whats seemed like 24hrs a day. No joke! And please don't get me wrong I love my parents to death, this isn't a rant of how horrible my life was growing up, its just a way so you could get to know me a little better. I absolutely thank God for the household he chose for me, and now at my age would never for a million yrs have it any other way.
I have an older brother, who was and is the one who will always pick on his sister. I love him so much and am so proud of him and the person that he is allowing God to mold. He is going to get married this year, WOOHOO. I also have a younger sister who by the way is pretty darn AH-MAY-SING! She has become my best friend, and my I add she was one of the first people to start leading me to repentance! Well knowing what I know now, it was the Holy Spirit. But any who, that's a bit about my growing up and my family.
Now for the more interesting part of the story. Lol! I was saved in 2004 at a Billy Graham crusade here at the Rose bowl in Pasadena California. Billy Graham himself lead the prayer to accept Jesus that night. And I remember clearly that Third Day was leading worship that night. I remember he made the altar call, and I was so hesitant. But my sister looked at me and saw that something in my heart had been stirred. So she said what any christian would say in that situation, or actually maybe just my sister, "do what you want to do" lol maybe she said it in a more delicate way. But anyways, I went I did the prayer, cried my eyeballs out, and then, someone took my information, but come to think of it, no one ever followed up with me. Hmm, I wonder what happened to my info. It must be in the christian database, under the title of ' need to contact immediately'! lol! I didn't have this radical change happen to me. For me, its been a snail pace change, believe me. S.N.A.I.L pace.
The moment that I felt the radical change of Gods ultimate love, was one day in my shower. It really all hit me at once and I had come to my wits end. And the thing that led to that moment was a serious case of DEPRESSION, dun, dun, dun!
I had spent the previous 2 and 1/2 years under a serious "spell" of depression. I didn't find joy in the things I would normally find joy in. My sarcasm level increased 2 fold, 3 fold maybe even 4 fold. The thought of suicide never did enter my mind, I think because I was to scared that my parents would come hunting me down in the "after life" just to give me a good whooping! lol!
But on the real, I never thought of suicide, but I did want to runaway from life. It hurt too bad. Even taking a breath hurt. I would cry every chance I got. I felt so incredibly alone. I mean, when I say I felt alone I felt alone. I hated myself. I hated my family, my friends where never true friends cause they didn't know what I was going through. Nobody asked, therefore in my mind they didn't care. What a lie! That's why I call it a spell! Its like the devil snatched my body and made me a puppet. No happiness what so ever. No light at the end of the tunnel. And in my mind NO BODY REALLY LOVES ME! I HATE MY LIFE! I NEED TO LEAVE THIS JOINT CAUSE I CANT BREATHEEEEEE HERE!! That's exactly what I felt and there was no one around. I was sucking the life out of myself and there was no one around to help me. I had pushed people so far away from my life that I didn't know where to turn. And the devil was just laughing, pulling the strings tighter around my neck. Little did I know that I was the one who made my own noose .
The morning of my deliverance came in such a weird form. I totally did not see that coming. And the situation the Lord used was so unpredictable as always! I became jealous of my sister. I had been with out a job for almost 2 years and she came back from a job interview that day boasting about how good it went and that she loved the place and how much they would pay, and inside of me a pang of jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. OOOh I hated her at that very moment. But at the same time I hated myself for what I was feeling. So I went into the shower, pretty much right after our convo, and as soon as the water hit me, it was burning me. The rage that was inside was so strong! I remember at that very moment I asked why? still no answer! I was so angry with God for yet again not answering me. So I finished I stepped out of the shower and the flow of tears just came, at that very moment I hear a voice saying, 'ask me for help, not the why' and as hard as it was I held my head and just said ' i need you Jesus, I cant do this by myself anymore. Please help me' And the craziest thing happened right at that moment. I felt like this dark veil come up from my feet and undo itself from around my head. And all of a sudden I was seeing myself. Not the image of the person I used to be but the new creation. And I saw a brilliant light surrounding me, and at that very moment I felt the embrace of my father. I felt the love of my Daddy saying to me I LOVE YOU DAUGHTER!!
And ever since then my life has not and will not ever be the same. I have my struggles here and there, and the Devil is known for using old ammo, so every now and then I feel the sting of my old depression hit, but it will never be me making that noose.
I plan on always living my life with the Love of Christ in the fore front of my thoughts. That even in my moments of wilderness, which I know there is more to come, will I ever let myself think that I am alone. Because that is far from the truth. I want my life to reflect thankfulness toward my one true love and most important I want to live my life with a connection so deep to the friend who is closer then my skin, Holy Spirit!
Oh my dear dear friend. Without You this life of mine would be uncontrollable chaos. Without you in me, my life would be my own. And that is unimaginable. I love you Holy Spirit, more then the air that I breathe. The thought of your presence in me, brings tears to my eyes. I love you my dear friend, my comfort in time of need. You bring me closer to the presence of my Creator and for that I am indebted to you.
Well there's a little about me! I cant wait to share more of my heart with all of you! Love you!
Remember to live your life, from Glory to Glory to Glory! Praise God in the downs just as much as in the ups. He is always with you! No matter how deep in the wilderness you are.
Much love and blessings from a Daughter of the Most High :)
Alyssa wants me to first share a little bit about me, not a very exciting post, but non the less its me. So here we go.
Like I said my name is Ruth Isabel Arriaga, and I'm 29 yrs old who's single with a heart to know more about my Savior Jesus. But even in my singleness I've sure had many moments where all I could think about is having a boyfriend. But non the less I cherish my relationship with Jesus, right now the way I am single and loving every minute of it no matter how hard it can be. It reminds me of this scripture I read just this morning. It goes,
"though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of MY salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deers feet; and He will make me walk on the high hills." Habakkuk 3: 17-19.Its a beautiful scripture and one I will forever hold dear to my heart.
I was raised in an EXTREMELY pentecostal home. Where the women didn't wear make-up, nor pants, nor jewelry, nor dye their hair. We couldn't go a day without having our hair covered especially if we were in the presence of God. That's what I mean by extremely pentecostal. I have to say that, that is one reason why growing up I wasn't the most social kid around. I was shy, super duper sensitive ( i still am) and I had a hard time making true friendships. Besides all that my parents were so OVER protective. We couldn't go over friends houses to go to a parties, sleep overs WHAT?!?! ne se diga! So you could imagine, my already natural habits were getting worse. To top it off my parents where at church, whats seemed like 24hrs a day. No joke! And please don't get me wrong I love my parents to death, this isn't a rant of how horrible my life was growing up, its just a way so you could get to know me a little better. I absolutely thank God for the household he chose for me, and now at my age would never for a million yrs have it any other way.
I have an older brother, who was and is the one who will always pick on his sister. I love him so much and am so proud of him and the person that he is allowing God to mold. He is going to get married this year, WOOHOO. I also have a younger sister who by the way is pretty darn AH-MAY-SING! She has become my best friend, and my I add she was one of the first people to start leading me to repentance! Well knowing what I know now, it was the Holy Spirit. But any who, that's a bit about my growing up and my family.
Now for the more interesting part of the story. Lol! I was saved in 2004 at a Billy Graham crusade here at the Rose bowl in Pasadena California. Billy Graham himself lead the prayer to accept Jesus that night. And I remember clearly that Third Day was leading worship that night. I remember he made the altar call, and I was so hesitant. But my sister looked at me and saw that something in my heart had been stirred. So she said what any christian would say in that situation, or actually maybe just my sister, "do what you want to do" lol maybe she said it in a more delicate way. But anyways, I went I did the prayer, cried my eyeballs out, and then, someone took my information, but come to think of it, no one ever followed up with me. Hmm, I wonder what happened to my info. It must be in the christian database, under the title of ' need to contact immediately'! lol! I didn't have this radical change happen to me. For me, its been a snail pace change, believe me. S.N.A.I.L pace.
The moment that I felt the radical change of Gods ultimate love, was one day in my shower. It really all hit me at once and I had come to my wits end. And the thing that led to that moment was a serious case of DEPRESSION, dun, dun, dun!
I had spent the previous 2 and 1/2 years under a serious "spell" of depression. I didn't find joy in the things I would normally find joy in. My sarcasm level increased 2 fold, 3 fold maybe even 4 fold. The thought of suicide never did enter my mind, I think because I was to scared that my parents would come hunting me down in the "after life" just to give me a good whooping! lol!
But on the real, I never thought of suicide, but I did want to runaway from life. It hurt too bad. Even taking a breath hurt. I would cry every chance I got. I felt so incredibly alone. I mean, when I say I felt alone I felt alone. I hated myself. I hated my family, my friends where never true friends cause they didn't know what I was going through. Nobody asked, therefore in my mind they didn't care. What a lie! That's why I call it a spell! Its like the devil snatched my body and made me a puppet. No happiness what so ever. No light at the end of the tunnel. And in my mind NO BODY REALLY LOVES ME! I HATE MY LIFE! I NEED TO LEAVE THIS JOINT CAUSE I CANT BREATHEEEEEE HERE!! That's exactly what I felt and there was no one around. I was sucking the life out of myself and there was no one around to help me. I had pushed people so far away from my life that I didn't know where to turn. And the devil was just laughing, pulling the strings tighter around my neck. Little did I know that I was the one who made my own noose .
The morning of my deliverance came in such a weird form. I totally did not see that coming. And the situation the Lord used was so unpredictable as always! I became jealous of my sister. I had been with out a job for almost 2 years and she came back from a job interview that day boasting about how good it went and that she loved the place and how much they would pay, and inside of me a pang of jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. OOOh I hated her at that very moment. But at the same time I hated myself for what I was feeling. So I went into the shower, pretty much right after our convo, and as soon as the water hit me, it was burning me. The rage that was inside was so strong! I remember at that very moment I asked why? still no answer! I was so angry with God for yet again not answering me. So I finished I stepped out of the shower and the flow of tears just came, at that very moment I hear a voice saying, 'ask me for help, not the why' and as hard as it was I held my head and just said ' i need you Jesus, I cant do this by myself anymore. Please help me' And the craziest thing happened right at that moment. I felt like this dark veil come up from my feet and undo itself from around my head. And all of a sudden I was seeing myself. Not the image of the person I used to be but the new creation. And I saw a brilliant light surrounding me, and at that very moment I felt the embrace of my father. I felt the love of my Daddy saying to me I LOVE YOU DAUGHTER!!
And ever since then my life has not and will not ever be the same. I have my struggles here and there, and the Devil is known for using old ammo, so every now and then I feel the sting of my old depression hit, but it will never be me making that noose.
I plan on always living my life with the Love of Christ in the fore front of my thoughts. That even in my moments of wilderness, which I know there is more to come, will I ever let myself think that I am alone. Because that is far from the truth. I want my life to reflect thankfulness toward my one true love and most important I want to live my life with a connection so deep to the friend who is closer then my skin, Holy Spirit!
Oh my dear dear friend. Without You this life of mine would be uncontrollable chaos. Without you in me, my life would be my own. And that is unimaginable. I love you Holy Spirit, more then the air that I breathe. The thought of your presence in me, brings tears to my eyes. I love you my dear friend, my comfort in time of need. You bring me closer to the presence of my Creator and for that I am indebted to you.
Well there's a little about me! I cant wait to share more of my heart with all of you! Love you!
Remember to live your life, from Glory to Glory to Glory! Praise God in the downs just as much as in the ups. He is always with you! No matter how deep in the wilderness you are.
Much love and blessings from a Daughter of the Most High :)
If you or somebody you know is living in depression, or needs prayer for something else... please contact us and let us know so that we can pray for you!
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