You are free to be YOU.

Lately, in life... I've been experiencing some funkiness. Yes, I've been in a FUNK. It comes and it goes... and it sucks.

Well last night I was cleaning my room... I saw one of my favorite pens and got the urge to start writing. Immediately I knew... I felt it in my spirit to write to Poppa :). My thoughts and emotions started flowing... I just wanted to thank Him and express to Him all of the love that I felt. It was almost as if my heart was really gonna burst from so much joy and love!

I have a tiny journal.

Well its not tiny... but, I like to write big... so to me... it's tiny. Anyway! As I was writing... I could hardly contain my speediness! lol I was trying so hard to stay in between the lines and still freely express myself on paper. It wasn't working... either I wrote neatly and sacrificed some of that raw emotion... or it got really raw and the writing was out of place. hahaha That's when I felt the Lord speak to me in the softest, purest, most tender way.

I don't want you to stay inside of the lines.

I want you to FREELY be yourself.

Freedom from the thoughts of others & be unapologetic about it.

 Freedom from their perceptions.

Be whole in Me & do not be phased by anything else. 

Oh boy! God is great. Amen?! Amen. The freedom that I felt after this! This funk is gone. My "ugh." is replaced with "woooo" We have a Father that turns mourning into dancing, y'all. I will never cease to be amazed at how much Abba loves His children. 

I started to reminisce (as I tend to do every year on my birthday ;D) and I can't help but to be humbled in COMPLETE REVERENCE. I have been taken out of so much junk, removed from toxic relationships, and protected so much by God. Even when it's hard for me to identify what it is that is going wrong inside of me... He knows... and if we listen closely enough, we can hear Him speaking to our spirit.

O Lord, You have searched me. 

You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. 

You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.

For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it. 

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, surely the darkness shall fall on me, Even the night shall be light about me; 

Indeed, the darkness and the light are both alike to You. 

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb.

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.

Psalm 139:1-18 NKJV

Your Heavenly Father knows every single aspect about your life... the good, the bad, the ugly, and all of the potential that you carry inside of you. I pray that you are able to accept this freedom of being YOU that God has blessed us with. 

LORD, I pray that the person reading this right now can receive the freedom to him/her self. Break the chains of other people's thoughts, opinions, or perceptions of them. I pray that they are able to see themselves as You see them, not as the people that surround them do. In Jesus' name, amen. 

I love you all soooo much! God bless and have an incredible day... every day ;D

-Alyssa

Because of Jesus Christ, I can face every tomorrow!

 Reading everyone's personal testimonies on this blog has been just fascinating! Indeed "the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the seas." ~ Habakkuk 2:14 I met sister Alyssa on Instagram and she has been such inspiration for me. I hope my story will help people connect personally with the Gospel of the wonderful grace of GOD.  

I am 52yrs old, mother to 2 lovely daughters and a wonderful son very fond of creeping up on me with a startling "Mama, boo!", hence my nick Mamaboo on Instagram. My real name is Helen Regina given at baptism at the age of 6. I was raised in a Catholic home and got married to a non-believer businessman 32 years ago. That was the end of church-going...and GOD and the beginning of my life as a career woman after taking on a key role in the family's business empire. As our businesses grew and expanded rapidly, I became a workaholic - pretty much a frazzled "Martha" tossed between our hugely successful but extremely demanding businesses AND the guilt of a somewhat neglected home. Getting knots in my rope, I relied on frequent holiday getaways to untie them - a pathetic soul in bondage; trapped in the monotony of life, swallowed up and absorbed in the economic and financial affairs of the world. 

 Life was such a burden; like living in a prison, day-in day-out, the same routine. My children were sent off to prestigious schools abroad simply because I could afford the money but not the time with them. What a sorry state to be in! For a while, Mass was sporadic but soon afterwards, even GOD was no longer a priority as I was too consumed in my career, too busy and didn’t want to go to a church alone in a new city. I put off taking steps to meet Christians, to get involved with the body of Christ in my new community and eventually became isolated. In my busyness, I was missing out on the purpose of life, the world could not offer me the contentment I desired. My Bible was never far though I hardly ever read it. Although I knew Jesus died for me, I had very little knowledge about the Word and GOD apart from praying the Lord's prayer and Hail Mary, Adam and Eve, the 10 Commandments, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Noah's Ark, Jonah and a few other popular Bible stories. Looking back, I suppose Catholics, in general, hardly read much of the Bible and I wasn't very much encouraged to either. I remember carrying a rosary with me most of my life for "protection." 😏 How shallow my belief then. I guess I missed out on the encouragement Hebrews 10:23-25 said one needed to remain strong in their focus, faith and walk with the Lord. And yet - in moments of introspection and honesty, I knew deep down inside that I was missing out on GOD. Every time I drove past a church, my heart longed to go in but I was too caught up in life's grinding wheel to make that move. 

An encounter with the Lord put a stop to my tracks and an overhaul to my lifestyle when He spoke Mark 8:36 in a remarkable and revelatory manner. It was 4 April 2003 - a day I was to take my own life. I had driven across town and checked into a hotel for that purpose. The world was so loud. I was tired. So tired of living. Too tired to live another day. I was lost. I wanted to put an end to everything to have that peace. I don’t know if anyone can understand what this is like, but there was this kind of inner despair and emptiness that just eats away at your insides making every day miserable, another day to get through. I couldn’t see any purpose to life; nothing really made sense. The wealth, the success, the achievements were meaningless and could not fill the void inside of me. I had everything, yet I had nothing. I dreaded every day and wished I did not wake up to another day. Nothing mattered anymore.

Photo found on Google Images

 I remember holding my Bible and asking GOD for forgiveness for what I was about to do. I then heard a small tapping sound on the window beckoned me outside and as I stepped out, I noticed a beautiful dove had flown in and perched on the railings on the hotel balcony. It cooed for a good few minutes and then walked towards my Bible that I had placed on the table, as if asking me to open and read it before disappearing beautifully and slowly into the sky, over the rainbow and above the canopy of trees. As I watched it in flight, I felt so small and so insignificant. Birds were so much happier. What a mess I had made of myself. What a life. What a fool. Was all this worth it? Is it worth it? Will it ever be worth it? I remember looking into the heavens and crying out to Jesus in distress for the first time in my life - 

"I wish I were a bird. I want to be free, Jesus. So free. I want to be a bird. Please set me free, Jesus."  

Sorrow and repentance came upon me as I wept and wept uncontrollably. Then I heard an audible voice, 

"What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" 

I was awestruck and thought I was dreaming. Then something stirred within me to open the Bible and Matthew 6:26 stood out:

 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap, or store in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"

 I felt a tremendous warmth envelope me and the loving presence of God in the room and wept even more. Then I felt the heaviness lifted from my heart. I felt the chains that enslaved me broken. His words lifted the veil from my heart and suddenly everything became clear. So much transpired within the next few hours of that grace-outpouring afternoon as I fell on my face weeping in His presence in total repentance and surrender pleading for His mercy and forgiveness. I laid myself, my past, all that I was at the feet of Jesus that afternoon and received my forgiveness and deliverance, and 14 Scriptures from the Lord and above all, a blessing - a new beginning. GOD spared me. 

After restoring fellowship with GOD in Jesus Christ and the release from the bondage, I have experienced the freedom to live a new life in the spirit. I renounced myself and asked Him to be the cornerstone for a new life in Him. I rediscovered my purpose. The Spirit of God had put a consuming desire in me to know Jesus and an insatiable appetite for the Word of God and I began reading the Bible and I read... and I read.. and I read every day, every night, day in day out for a long, long time. The only prayer I prayed for a long time afterwards was to plead with the Holy Spirit to quicken my knowledge and understanding of my Lord and Saviour Jesus through the Word. I felt left behind for so long. I began chasing after GOD, so to speak. I wanted to be where He was happening. I joined every prayer meeting, every church gathering, every retreat, every conference I could, everything and anything that I could lay my hands on about GOD I wanted. I would skip dinner and wait outside the church door so I would not be late for our meetings. If I read too late into the night on Saturdays, I would not go to bed so I would not miss Church Sunday mornings. The family, on the other hand, thought I had gone crazy. It was, however, the beginning of a real joy that could only be realized in that fellowship with, in and through JESUS CHRIST. He became the sum and substance of my life and brought eternal significance to it. Suffice it to say, I could see now as I had never seen before; I could feel now as I had never felt before; and I could know now as I had never known before. No longer do my own pursuits, circumstances and the world's influence have any depth of significance. Suddenly life matters. Suddenly life was full of excitement. Suddenly life was worth every breath I have. The truth is that nothing on earth will ever give lasting satisfaction because I was created for eternity. Now the things I do are charged with eternal meaning. The real treasure is who I am in Christ and not what possessions I have. My hope is anchored in Him. Jesus Christ has made my life profoundly worth living as a pilgrim, not a prisoner on earth. I can now lose myself in service for I have found myself in Christ and made a commitment to serve Him no matter what happens.

I can relate with what Solomon in the Book of Ecclesiastes dragged us through the pointlessness of a life without God:

 "Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless, Everything is meaningless! What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun? Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind." 

 Judas sold Christ for less than 30 pieces of silver and I had sold my soul for something just as trivial because I chose everything else of this life over Christ. My experience has changed my perspective and the course of my life forever and took me to a higher level of faith, hope and trust in GOD. There is more to life than our limited spheres of knowledge and I hope to help people find the key to their own stories of faith and struggle and come to the truth that our status is not dependent on our relationship to a person or a thing but with Jesus Christ.  

Seek the things which are of Jesus Christ ~ Philippians 2:21 for our citizenship is in heaven. ~ Philippians 3:20 Remain in Him and continue in Him. ~ 1 John 2:27-28

Funnily enough, I wrote a letter to GOD that day (which I cannot believe I did if I didn't recognize my own handwriting) that I still keep tucked between the pages of my Bible: 

 "Father in heaven: I need Your love and saving grace. Please forgive my sins as I forgive those who have sinned against me. Come into my heart to become my Saviour and lead me into a life everlasting. For many are called and few are chosen. I confess I do fall short of your glory. Renew my spirit and show me the way to this narrow gate to Your kingdom where there only will I find a life with You, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I present to You my body as a living sacrifice that You may fill it with the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to endure to the end. And, as I continue to find my way to you, save me and deliver me from the evil one and let me live a life everlasting full of the peace, joy and love that I need. For Yours is the kingdom, the power and the glory forever. In Jesus' name I pray for He is the Way, the Truth and the Life and only through Him will I come to You. Amen." 

Later that same year, He brought my husband and our children to salvation to receive His grace and blessing. We named our house "EMMANUEL" that year and God IS with us. What complete joy and what a blessing since JESUS took over as the head of our house. Our Father is a faithful GOD who saves by the households. ~ Acts 2:39, 16:31

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him. 

~ Philippians 3:7-9 

Whom have I in heaven but You?

My flesh and my heart fail;

And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

~ Psalm 73:25-26 

This is what the Bible says in Luke 19:10 concerning JESUS CHRIST,

 "The Son of GOD has come to seek and to save that which is was lost."  

God's abundant grace, God's overflowing peace, God's everlasting love, God's unfailing promises and more... 

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. 

~ Matthew 6:33 

What a blessing to know this! 

➡ Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life - is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever. ~ 1 John 2:15-17

➡ Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. ~ James 4:13-14

My prayer for you, beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, is that you will never permit anything to come between you and Christ, and that you will continue to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus. If we find that whatever we do is encroaching our daily lives to the extent that we do not have time for the Lord as we ought, then we ought to choose even being less prosperous or rich in this world rather that our souls perish. Take heed the words of our Lord Jesus in Matthew 7:24-25 about building our foundation on the imperishable Word of God. He compared it to a wise man who builds his house on the rock: 

"when the rain came down, the streams rose, the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall because it had its foundation built on the rock." 

If you have not received Jesus Christ as your LORD and SAVIOUR, come to Him today... as helpless and unworthy as you are, without righteousness, without any hope. Mercy, pardon, grace and full salvation awaits those who seek Him. The adversary will look back at your past and see all your mistakes but God looks back and sees the sacrifice of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ who died on the cross for you so that you would not perish but have eternal life. He sees what you can become in His grace and power. Today is the day.The Bible says that today is the day of salvation. 

"Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation

  ~ 2 Corinthians 6:2

 There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death. 

~ Proverbs 16:25

 Let it be known to you all, and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead, by Him this man stands here before you whole. This is the ‘stone which was rejected by you builders, which has become the chief cornerstone.' Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.
 ~ Acts 4:10-12  

Apart from faith in Jesus Christ there is no salvation. Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. 
~ John 14:6. 

A Story for HIS Glory

As a “church kid”, I’ve heard my share of testimonies and stories.  I’ve heard how God delivered people from the lowest of the low, breaking the chains of drug addiction, disease, everything imaginable.  And for a while, those stories made me feel inferior.  Silly as it is, I felt like my testimony wasn’t good enough. 

My testimony begins really at the beginning of my life.  My parents brought me to church and told me about Jesus.   I knew that we were sinners in need of a Savior, and even though I was a little kid, I knew that I needed to accept the gift of salvation.  Some people would say I was too young to know what I was doing, but I know without a doubt that God saved me.  Of course, being a little kid, there wasn’t a whole lot of transformation in my life…not yet.

Then when I was 12, I realized what it meant to live like Christ.  I noticed that even though I wasn’t a bad kid doing bad things, there wasn’t much about me to set me apart as a follower of Jesus.  At that point, I rededicated my life to Christ.  I began really pursuing a daily relationship with God, reading my Bible, and spending time in prayer.  Since then, I have begun to understand how truly amazing God is.  He has shown me many things and answered a lot of prayers.  I know now that every testimony matters, not just extreme ones.

But sometimes I forget.  Even as I write this, part of me wonders what good can come of a story so simple, so seemingly easy.  Then I remember something I heard a preacher say once.  He was sharing his testimony, one a lot like mine, and admitted that at one point he thought he needed a “great” testimony.  The thing he realized is that every testimony is great.  Nothing we do makes it that way; it’s great because by His power God has saved us. 

That’s why I was so excited when Aly asked me to write a post for Revelations of a Daughter.  I want the world to know how great my God is.  My testimony isn’t about me at all—if it was, it wouldn’t be a testimony.  God has given me this story for his glory.

Much Love in Christ!!

 Alexa

Blog: Forever and Today 

 

Ruth Isabel Arriaga . . . Daughter of the Most High

First of all, I want to say how excited I am to be coming along side Alyssa Ponce in such a beautiful way. I hope that through this many healings happen, not just in my life but in the life of anyone of you reading this.

Alyssa wants me to first share a little bit about me, not a very exciting post, but non the less its me. So here we go.

Like I said my name is Ruth Isabel Arriaga, and I'm 29 yrs old who's single with a heart to know more about my Savior Jesus. But even in my singleness I've sure had many  moments where all I could think about is having a boyfriend. But non the less I cherish my relationship with Jesus, right now the way I am single and loving every minute of it no matter how hard it can be. It reminds me of this scripture I read just this morning. It goes,  

"though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of MY salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deers feet; and He will make me walk on the high hills." Habakkuk 3: 17-19. 

Its a beautiful scripture and one I will forever hold dear to my heart.

I was raised in an EXTREMELY pentecostal home. Where the women didn't wear make-up, nor pants, nor jewelry, nor dye their hair. We couldn't go a day without having our hair covered especially if we were in the presence of God. That's what I mean by extremely pentecostal. I have to say that, that is one reason why growing up I wasn't the most social kid around. I was shy, super duper sensitive ( i still am) and I had a hard time making true friendships. Besides all that my parents were so OVER protective. We couldn't go over friends houses to go to a parties, sleep overs WHAT?!?! ne se diga! So you could imagine, my already natural habits were getting worse. To top it off my parents where at church, whats seemed like 24hrs a day. No joke! And please don't get me wrong I love my parents to death, this isn't a rant of how horrible my life was growing up, its just a way so you could get to know me a little better. I absolutely thank God for the household he chose for me, and now at my age would never for a million yrs have it any other way.

I have an older brother, who was and is the one who will always pick on his sister. I love him so much and am so proud of him and the person that he is allowing God to mold. He is going to get married this year, WOOHOO. I also have a younger sister who by the way is pretty darn AH-MAY-SING! She has become my best friend, and my I add she was one of the first people to start leading me to repentance! Well knowing what I know now, it was the Holy Spirit. But any who, that's a bit about my growing up and my family.

Now for the more interesting part of the story. Lol! I was saved in 2004 at a Billy Graham crusade here at the Rose bowl in Pasadena California. Billy Graham himself lead the prayer to accept Jesus that night. And I remember clearly that Third Day was leading worship that night. I remember he made the altar call, and I was so hesitant. But my sister looked at me and saw that something in my heart had been stirred. So she said what any christian would say in that situation, or actually maybe just my sister, "do what you want to do" lol maybe she said it in a more delicate way. But anyways, I went I did the prayer, cried my eyeballs out, and then, someone took my information, but come to think of it, no one ever followed up with me. Hmm, I wonder what happened to my info. It must be in the christian database, under the title of ' need to contact immediately'! lol! I didn't have this radical change happen to me. For me, its been a snail pace change, believe me. S.N.A.I.L pace.

The moment that I felt the radical change of Gods ultimate love, was one day in my shower. It really all hit me at once and I had come to my wits end. And the thing that led to that moment was a serious case of DEPRESSION, dun, dun, dun!

I had spent the previous 2 and 1/2 years under a serious "spell" of depression. I didn't find joy in the things I would normally find joy in. My sarcasm level increased 2 fold, 3 fold maybe even 4 fold. The thought of suicide never did enter my mind, I think because I was to scared that my parents would come hunting me down in the "after life" just to give me a good whooping! lol!

But on the real, I never thought of suicide, but I did want to runaway from life. It hurt too bad. Even taking a breath hurt. I would cry every chance I got. I felt so incredibly alone. I mean, when I say I felt alone I felt alone. I hated myself. I hated my family, my friends where never true friends cause they didn't know what I was going through. Nobody asked, therefore in my mind they didn't care. What a lie! That's why I call it a spell! Its like the devil snatched my body and made me a puppet. No happiness what so ever. No light at the end of the tunnel. And in my mind NO BODY REALLY LOVES ME! I HATE MY LIFE! I NEED TO LEAVE THIS JOINT CAUSE I CANT BREATHEEEEEE HERE!! That's exactly what I felt and there was no one around. I was sucking the life out of myself and there was no one around to help me. I had pushed people so far away from my life that I didn't know where to turn. And the devil was just laughing, pulling the strings tighter around my neck. Little did I know that I was the one who made my own noose .

The morning of my deliverance came in such a weird form. I totally did not see that coming. And the situation the Lord used was so unpredictable as always! I became jealous of my sister. I had been with out a job for almost 2 years and she came back from a job interview that day boasting about how good it went and that she loved the place and how much they would pay, and inside of me a pang of jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. OOOh I hated her at that very moment. But at the same time I hated myself for what I was feeling. So I went into the shower, pretty much right after our convo, and as soon as the water hit me, it was burning me. The rage that was inside was so strong! I remember at that very moment I asked why? still no answer! I was so angry with God for yet again not answering me. So I finished I stepped out of the shower and the flow of tears just came, at that very moment I hear a voice saying,  'ask me for help, not the why' and as hard as it was I held my head and just said ' i need you Jesus, I cant do this by myself anymore. Please help me' And the craziest thing happened right at that moment. I felt like this dark veil come up from my feet and undo itself from around my head. And all of a sudden I was seeing myself. Not the image of the person I used to be but the new creation. And I saw a brilliant light surrounding me, and at that very moment I felt the embrace of my father. I felt the love of my Daddy saying to me I LOVE YOU DAUGHTER!!

And ever since then my life has not and will not ever be the same. I have my struggles here and there, and the Devil is known for using old ammo, so every now and then I feel the sting of my old depression hit, but it will never be me making that noose.

I plan on always living my life with the Love of Christ in the fore front of my thoughts. That even in my moments of wilderness, which I know there is more to come, will I ever let myself think that I am alone. Because that is far from the truth. I want my life to reflect thankfulness toward my one true love and most important I want to live my life with a connection so deep to the friend who is closer then my skin, Holy Spirit!

Oh my dear dear friend. Without You this life of mine would be uncontrollable chaos. Without you in me, my life would be my own. And that is unimaginable. I love you Holy Spirit, more then the air that I breathe. The thought of your presence in me, brings tears to my eyes. I love you my dear friend, my comfort in time of need. You bring me closer to the presence of my Creator and for that I am indebted to you.

Well there's a little about me! I cant wait to share more of my heart with all of you! Love you!

Remember to live your life, from Glory to Glory to Glory! Praise God in the downs just as much as in the ups. He is always with you! No matter how deep in the wilderness you are.


Much love and blessings from a Daughter of the Most High :)