Is loving worth the risk? Heart vs Brain

For so many years 'I've heard that, your heart can decieve you!' 'Don't follow your emotions!'
'Your heart can get broken so BE CAREFUL!' I mean these are all things that l've heard in the process of growing up. But I wonder what would happen if we stop letting our brain do ALL the work and start to actually listen to our hearts? Hmmmm....

As I'm writing this, even prior to writing this I notice that in previous situations in my life when things get too deep, or in other words "dangerously deep" I tend to let my brain takeover and start to do all the talkin' and Actin' I don't know exactly why, but what i do know is that its a defensive mechinism that I have. Maybe its because I'm afraid of the emotional breakthrough, or the emotional attachment, or maybe even the emotional hurt that I'm gonna feel. So immediately my brain, as the analyzer and protector of my body, including all major organs, does its job! It sends out a signal that builds a wall so that the most important organ, muscle, whatever its called, lol,in my body doesn't get scared or wounded. So then, with many years of this process going on, I start to become a person that thinks more than she feels. And for someone who, first of all loves Christ, and second is a woman, thinking just tends to get in the way. Not all the time, but sometimes.

Now I'm not saying that thinking is bad, or is the devil. After all in Romans 12:2 it says to let your mind get renewed,so that you will be transformed (just paraphrasing). There are certain, if not many situations that we encounter that our brain aka mind comes in handy. But what I am saying is that sometimes letting our hearts take the lead may ultimately be the right thing to do. Wouldn't that lead us to be more Christ like?

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul! What if our hearts are a window to heaven?
Wouldn't our hearts have more to say about compassion? Or what about just plain love? Doesn't our heart love harder then our brain? I think so!
 
I think maybe we have to stop worrying about our hearts being hurt in the process of loving and just love. Lets stop thinking about loving and just love. Doesn't the Bible also say 'if God for us who can be against us?' No one! Maybe ourselves?

So my recommendation to myself is to first, let myself become more full of the spirit. And second, let myself love more and love harder,  'cause if God is for me then I don't want to be against myself!

Hey, freely loving someone is one of the highest sacrifices, your heart is in danger, therefore so is your mind and even body. But isn't the sacrifice worthy of the glory of God? I'd rather God be glorified through my suffering, then myself be glorified through my knowledge ( or lack there of)!

Romans 12: 1-2 ' I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God, whichis your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.'

Romans 8:31-39 ' what then shall we say to these things? If God is for who can be against us? ..... who shall seperate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or nakedness,or peril, or sword? As it is written: for your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life. Nor angels nor principalities,nor powers, nor things present nor things to come. Nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord!'

Galatians 5:25 ' if we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.'

So friends let us LOVE WITH ALL OUR HEARTS! knowing that not even a broken heart will ever separate us from the Love of our creator! As a matter of fact it will bring us closer to Him.

Psalm 34:18 NKJV
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

With as much Love as I can give,

Ruthie

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD

Okay, so first thing’s first: I’m a guy. “Wait, what?” Yep, you read that right – I’m a dude. No, this isn’t a misplaced post. No, I’m not lying. No, this ain’t a joke either.

My name is Eric. I’m an 18-year-old Filipino living in Bangkok, Thailand. Yes, I’m a guy (I believe I can’t stress that enough), so you may be wondering what in the world am I doing posting on a blog that’s entitled “Revelations of a Daughter”? Well, I was honored and privileged to have been asked to make a post for this awesome blog, so here I am.

I was asked to write a testimonial post and well, if you’re looking for a guy that was in a ditch at one point of his life with drugs and alcohol helping him to get there, let me tell you right now: that’s not my testimony. But that doesn’t mean God hasn't worked wonderfully and powerfully in my life.

I was blessed to have been born into a Christian family and raised with strong Christian values. I grew up a Sunday School kid and going to bible camps every summer, and looking back I really thank God for that because that was what solidified my faith. It was what really set my foundation in Christ. However, my family was just your typical Sunday Christian. Basically, we went to church on Sunday then left for a family day. Sure, we prayed and read the Bible, but that was as far as we went. We didn’t know that there was so much more to be had in life with God.

When I was around six or seven years old, my dad came home with the news that the factory he was working in would be shut down and that many people were getting laid off. We were very thankful to God because we found out that my dad wasn’t one of them. Instead he would be transferred to another country. There were four choices: Japan, China, US, and Thailand. My parents aimed to go the US because… well, it’s the US! Ironically, the last on their list was Thailand, but it was for obvious reasons: Thailand wasn’t a Christian nation and my parents were afraid we’d go spiritually dry and it was basically just “across the street” from the Philippines with very little differences in culture and people and all that.

But God had a different plan. A few months later, my family and I moved to Thailand.

My parents had a hard time adjusting. We lived in a house back in the Philippines. Now we lived in a studio type apartment. We only had a handful of friends. The company also didn’t pay for our rent or my school fees, unlike other employees, meaning we had to shoulder it all on our own. When we went around looking at schools, we found that international schools basically had the same fee as students in the Philippines taking a doctorate degree in a course. On top of that, we weren’t sure where we’d find a church.

For a few months, my mom seriously contemplated going back home to the Philippines. However, we soon found a church that took us in as family. Little did we know that it was in that church and in this country that God would raise me and my family in the ministry.

Little by little, we found that there’s more to Christian life than just attending church every Sunday. My parents got involved in ministries. Soon they were leading their own Bible Study. As for me, it was here that I truly began my relationship with the Lord, and soon I also joined my own ministries: I joined the usher team then went on to the worship team and eventually was groomed to be a worship leader.

In the area of finance, my parents learned to tithe faithfully and trust God with their money. Soon, I also joined them in tithing. Even until today, my dad’s company doesn’t pay for our rent or my school tuition. However, my family is financially blessed. My parents were able to pay for my schooling from elementary to high school. Now, I’m enrolled in the top university in Thailand by God’s amazing grace and favor (that’s another testimony I gotta share!). As for that studio-type room, we only actually lived there for a year then we moved to a condominium. Now, however, God has blessed us and we’re living in an actual house with three floors (and I basically have the second floor all to myself). I dunno about you, but three floors is definitely an improvement from a studio-type room!

As for those who got transferred to different countries, we found that God really did have the best plan for us and secured us. Those who were transferred back to the US were sent back to the Philippines because it didn’t work out. Those transferred in China requested transfers because they didn’t like it there. Those who were sent to Japan said the work was too hectic and wanted to transfer to – guess where? – Thailand. It turned out that Thailand was actually the best and stable choice!

Me and my family have been here in Thailand for eleven years. Over the course of that time, another member was added to our group, so now I have a six year old brother (another testimony since I’ve been praying for a sibling for almost thirteen years). Over the course of that time also God has grown my family individually and together, and I am so blessed to have a family that is serving God altogether. My mom is the head of the intercessory group in our church. My dad is one of the church elders or main leaders. I am a worship leader and the youth leader in the church. All of us are in the church leadership team too.

None of us ever though that it would be here in Thailand where God would grow us, that it would be here where He would raise us to be leaders and that He would use us and maximize us. My family and I are still serving here and I look forward for what God has in store for us. I’ve seen his hand move in my family countless times, and I cannot wait to see Him do more amazing things in the coming years.

-Eric

 Editor's Note: Eric has his own blog (http://therealerice.tumblr.com) and you can also follow him on Twitter @TheRealEricE! Check it out!

GRACE

            I don’t have a crazy testimony. I didn’t break any drug or alcohol addiction when I first came to know God. Matter of fact, I was raised in a Christian home. I’ve gone to church all my life with the exception of a few years during my parents rocky marriage, but I knew about God  and had a sense of reverence for Him. But I didn’t know Him. 7 years after my first genuine encounter with Christ, I can say there is definitely a difference between knowing about God and knowing God.

           

 It was my sophomore year of high school that my mom signed me up for a retreat. Because let’s face it, every sassy, major ‘tude, “I do what I want!” teenage girl needs some Jesus in her life! ;) I was ditching classes on the regular and lacked motivation in my classes. It’s not that I was living my life deliberately against God; it’s just that I wasn’t living my life for Him. He was placed in a “Sunday only” box in my mind and stayed there. The week before I went to the retreat, I got busted once again for ditching school and my mom was done. She tells me now that she prayed that I would come down the mountain a changed person, little did she know her prayer was soon to be answered.

           

 The retreat was almost like a vacation for me. I spent time catching up with old friends, kinda sorta maaaaybe even sang a few worship songs, and came back down wishing my church friends a great summer and I would see them next retreat.

(God speaks to you when you least expect it)

            I got home that Sunday and unpacked my things. I talked a bit with my mom about how it was fun, and how nice the cabins were. That was it. That was the extent of the impact of the retreat. While unpacking, something told me to read my Bible. During my life, I’d always have those days when I would read the Bible and promise myself I would keep reading daily. A day later I would be over it and simply tell myself back to the “Sunday only” ritual. But this time was different.

I desired to not just know about the God on Sunday, but to know the God who also existed Monday through Saturday.

May 21^st, 2005 I made the promise that would change my life forever. I rededicated my life to Christ and knew that there was no turning back. This was it, I told myself, I would never leave Him again and this time it was for real. Someone should have busted a Moonstruck Cher slap on me! Making the decision to follow Christ is the easy part. Living a life dedicated to the Lord is a whooooole ‘notha story!

You see, the thing is that once you know the truth, there is no way to unlearn it. It seeps into your heart and no matter what you do, say, or who you hang with…it’s always there in the back of your mind.

            Between then and now, it’s been a rocky path. I’m not going to say I’ve been a great Christian, because the reality is, I’ve failed countless times. I’ve made choices that have had major consequences, tried to find comfort in relationships and friendships, said things that I wish I can take back, and have not represented Christ as I should. What I have discovered in the last year is the power of His Grace.

Oh, God’s sweet sweet grace.

            His grace is what makes me love Him. His love for me, even though I don’t deserve it, brings me back to Him broken and humbled. His favor in my life is what makes me praise Him more because I know all good things come from above. His constant guidance in my life makes me trust Him more because His will is always better than my own. For the longest time, I played the religion card. If I go to church every Sunday, get involved in ministry, teach children, read every day for 30 minutes, pray for all the starving kids around the world, I will be saved and have the golden ticket to Heaven! Duh! (Moonstruck slap…HERE!)

“For by GRACE you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God” Ephesians 2:8

            As Christians, we often get stuck with the ideology that being a “good Christian” means not cussing, not drinking, and going to church every Sunday. If you believe this….I’M ABOUT TO BUST YOUR BUBBLE! Don’t get me wrong, these are good, but they are not the foundation of what living like Christ means. This is a safe idea of what being a Christian is. This is the barely getting by, by the skin of my teeth Christianity. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want you to do this anymore. I want us to live outside the bubble, outside our comfort zones.

I want to see you (yes, you!) become the person God has called you to be.

            So dear friends, from my 23 years of experience (Yes, I count ALL my years of life, cause you know I was so wise when I was 2) this is my life. It’s messy; it’s full of disappointments, low times, anger and regrets. I’m not gonna act like my life is perfect, because it’s far from it. I struggle daily, and have to tell myself every morning, “Today I will live this day for the Lord”. But it’s those bad times that have been the foundation of my faith. It is my inability to grow spiritually by myself that has allowed me to trust in Him so much more.  And at the end of the day, all I know is that life is better with Him, always.  

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trails, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

James 1:2

In Him,

Anneliese 

           

Loved by Love Himself

Hi daughters and sons! I'm Loida AKA lloyds, lloyders, yoda, and Loda. I guess people like to make some names up for me! I like them all :). As I'm writing this I'm laying on my couch on my iPhone tapping away at the screen thinking about how beautiful and awesome God has been in my life. So I was asked to share my story. And what's awesome is that we all have one. So as I share my life I pray that you may find that we don't walk this path alone. But together as one in Christ.

I am 25yrs old and the youngest of three. My older brother is 10 years older than I am and my sister is 4 years older than I am. And if you've been following revelations of a daughter than you've already read about my sister (Ruth). She remembers more of our childhood than I do, and she has an awesome testimony about how God freed her from the grip of depression.

 I've seen Gods hand upon my life in many situation but never really came to an intimate relationship with Jesus until before my junior year in High School. What I can remember growing up was when my parents stopped going to church and when they reverted to old habits. When my dad started to drink again and would get so drunk he would get up at night to go to the restroom and instead of going to the bathroom he would end up in the closet, he would argue and fight with my mom, he would yell at us, and he would come from work already drunk. This went on for years, and on top of my dad drinking my mom no longer was working so therefore we hardly could pay for our house or pay the utility bills. This one incident I remember we didn't have enough money for bills and the electricity was shut off and my mother, sister and myself were home afraid, almost in tears, waiting for my dad knowing he was going to blow up. And sure enough he did. That's what I remember in my childhood. I remember my parents always arguing and me being afraid that it was my fault, that I did something wrong. I was filled with guilt at young age. I was full of shame and anger for what was going on at home and it spilled out in my social life at school.

I tried to be a rebel but was to scared to do something wrong. I was lost in my own way of thinking of myself. I thought that I was a horrible person. That I came into this world as a problem. I was terrified of arguments so I would always try and please everyone. I felt like I couldn't stand up for myself because I felt like I didn't have a voice. And I was alone because I could never let anyone ever really see me. I carried this way of thinking into High School, and in high school I joined the girls basketball team trying to find some sort of community and family.

I made friends with a girl my freshman year and immediately I noticed something different about her. There was something that made her seem light, like if she had no worries or anxieties. She was always smiling and she always was encouraging. So I was drawn to her and as we became friends she began to tell me about Jesus Christ. No one, ever had told me about the redeeming love of Jesus. No one had ever shared with me about what Jesus had done for me on the cross. She was the FIRST person that introduced me to Christ, in fact, she was the only person to tell me about Christ in high school. Well, my new friend gave me an invitation to pray with her and accept Jesus into my life, and at the moment I rejected her and Him. I said no to the freedom of knowing Christ and decided to stay chained to my negative thinking. And the enemy fed on my response to Jesus. Throughout the next year I went through more pain in my life, more loneliness, and more solitary moments than ever before. I was surrounded by friends and family but never truly opened up and allowed someone to really see or help me. And I dug myself, what I felt like, a hole. A hole where all I thought about myself was how ugly I was, and how shameful and weird I was. And how if anyone really saw me they wouldn't love me anymore. So one day in the quietness of my room, alone, I cried (which was normal at night). And I sat up on my bed and said

"God, I'm tired. I'm tired of hating myself. Please come into my life and help me."

 So with tears filling my eyes I didn't know what else to do so I turned on the tv to TBN thinking

"I just need help."

 and the man on the tv that night said

"You've been feeling hurt and alone and God wants to let you know He is there for you and he will love you every step of the way!" 

So I jumped at the opportunity to pray. And at that moment I prayed that Christ may be the Lord of my life. And from that day on its been rainbows and butterflies!!!

Yea, RIGHT!!!

I struggled, a lot. I found help in my friend from 9th grade. She prayed for me and help me read the bible. Then in my close friend's life the Holy Spirit was working and she accepted Jesus into her life. She invited me to her church and that's been my home for almost 9 years!

It was a struggle to really understand that God called me beautiful, wonderful, and His daughter. I knew it because I felt His peace and His presence, I trusted that the Bible were His words so I clung to it as if it were my breath. But my head and my thoughts would betray me and I would struggle with the old way of thinking. I couldn't understand how God fully knowing me would love me and still do what He did on the cross for me. And at the same time I was falling in love with Him because He was never scared of my thought life. He walked right into it and began to clean it up.

There's been times in my ride with Christ where I've felt dry and separated from Him. There's been times where I've refused to come to my hiding place with Him. But I've come to a place in my life where I know, that I know, that I KNOW that I am a Daughter of the God of the universe, that I have been adopted by the creator of the heavens and the earth. That regardless of all the junk that I've brought into my life, He still looks at me with loving eyes and is always waiting for me with an open and loving heart! There is really no one like Him. And because he loves me, my response is to love Him back. My hearts desire is that this LOVE of the FATHER be made known through me.

My prayer is that you, the reader (son/daughter) may NOT feel as If you are alone. That you may find a story that you can relate to here on Revelations of a Daughter. That you may find encouragement, joy and laughter through these words. And that you cry with us as we cry with you. And that you may find healing as we find healing. I know my story is different, as is everyone's, but I pray that your heart is stirred to really know that you have a DaDDY that will pursue you, and will give you love and identity! May Daddy God bless your hearts as you end this and as you read some of my favorite scriptures!

Mucho Amor para todos :)

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mothers womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in numbers than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. 

(Psalm 139:13-18 NKJV)

---And--- 

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. 

(Romans 12:2 NKJV)

Nod your head if you ever question your direction in life.

God, what am I doing here and where the heck am I going?

Nod your head if you ever question your direction in life.  Nod your head twice if you ever feel like you aren’t where Jesus wants you to be, doing what He wants you to. Keep reading if you’d like to read some good news about your life, where it’s headed and what God’s up to in all of it.

When I was in college I studied Sociology in the hopes to either go abroad or to the inner city to make an impact for Jesus.  I had this idea that I would influence the world by being an advocate for the less fortunate or being a mentor to inner city kids.  I left the college bubble excited and full of my romantic notions but it wasn’t long before the real world slapped me a good one.  No one was hiring in my field of interest.  I had to broaden my search and after months I had to take anything that came my way.

   

So, I became a Realtor’s assistant.  It was far from my dream job but it paid the bills.  I ended up staying in the field for 7 years.  As God led me on a completely different path than I had envisioned for myself I questioned if I was really where I was supposed to be.  My dreams of impacting people young and old for the Kingdom were still in my heart but far out of reach. Or so I thought at the time. 

 

After college I fell in love and got married.  My husband and I attended a church and were asked to get involved.  You name a church ministry and we were asked to help in it, from door greeters to Sunday school teachers to small group leaders.  To be honest we didn’t necessarily want to participate in some of these things.  We wanted to say no but somehow our mouths would always say yes!

These opportunities were huge spiritual growth opportunities.  Although I felt stuck in my “job” in Real Estate, God had us in training in that season and we didn’t even realize it. Our yes to the little things gave way to greater opportunities.  God began to entrust us with more and we were doing exactly what He had planned for that time in our lives.

Fast forward to 2012, my husband is now a worship leader and we are serving as youth pastors.  I see God unraveling my dreams before my eyes but even though we are serving in these different capacities I have learned an important lesson.  My idea of serving Jesus and living out His plans for my life have completely changed.   

Firstly, serving Jesus does not have to be your “career” as in being a missionary, working for a Christian organization or even just serving at Church.  While all of these things are good and awesome, limiting ourselves to grand exploits is a huge deception.  Jesus asks us to serve Him daily with our devotion, our love for Him as well as our love for others.   Mark 12:30-31 says, 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.  There is no commandment greater than these.” 

 

If we aren’t in love with Jesus, or even trying to get to know Him, the loving others part won’t just come naturally.  Time with Jesus naturally means hearing from Him and catching the sound of His heartbeat.  He begins to put things in our hearts that are beyond ourselves like compassion for others that causes us to step out and actually do something to lift someone else up. 

Now I understand that serving Jesus can be as simple and beautiful as giving a homeless person the last five dollars in my wallet or visiting someone in the hospital.  It can be listening to a co-worker or fellow student as they pour out their life situation and praying with faith that Jesus would turn their situation around.  Serving Jesus can also be saying yes to an opportunity in church, at school, even at home in something where we can bless someone else.  Doing what Jesus asks is as easy as taking assessment of where He’s placed us today and making it count by lifting someone up and pointing them in God’s direction. It’s the little things we do out of obedience that propel us into the greater things God has for us. 

 

Now, about those big dreams and desires God puts in our hearts.  God deposits those things in our hearts for a reason to be lived out during a certain time.  I may not live these dreams or desires out in MY due time.  But I can always trust that He will not leave me hanging since He’s the one that put them there. And the kicker is that His timing for things almost never lines up with my timing.  BUT I’ve learned that His ways are ALWAYS better than my ways. Whenever I hear this verse, hope always rises in me that God’s not finished working out all He’s put in my heart.  Philippians 1:6 says,

 “I’m convinced that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it through to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Your time will come and when it comes you will look back at the little opportunities you said yes to and laugh.  Your creator knows exactly what He’s doing in your life and has you exactly where He wants you, doing what He wants you to do.  Make today count by listening to His heart and doing that little thing He’s asking you to for that person or in that situation.  Know that He cares for you, has not forgotten you and wants nothing more than for you to be close to His heart.  Smile because you are on your way to fulfilling all that God has for you by seizing today’s opportunities.  Laugh at any obstacles you see in your way because your future is going to be AWESOME and full of God’s power as you watch your natural collide with His supernatural ways to make things happen in your life!

Proverbs 3:5-6: “ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.”

~ Ammie Avolio

Ruth Isabel Arriaga . . . Daughter of the Most High

First of all, I want to say how excited I am to be coming along side Alyssa Ponce in such a beautiful way. I hope that through this many healings happen, not just in my life but in the life of anyone of you reading this.

Alyssa wants me to first share a little bit about me, not a very exciting post, but non the less its me. So here we go.

Like I said my name is Ruth Isabel Arriaga, and I'm 29 yrs old who's single with a heart to know more about my Savior Jesus. But even in my singleness I've sure had many  moments where all I could think about is having a boyfriend. But non the less I cherish my relationship with Jesus, right now the way I am single and loving every minute of it no matter how hard it can be. It reminds me of this scripture I read just this morning. It goes,  

"though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls, Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of MY salvation. The Lord God is my strength; He will make my feet like deers feet; and He will make me walk on the high hills." Habakkuk 3: 17-19. 

Its a beautiful scripture and one I will forever hold dear to my heart.

I was raised in an EXTREMELY pentecostal home. Where the women didn't wear make-up, nor pants, nor jewelry, nor dye their hair. We couldn't go a day without having our hair covered especially if we were in the presence of God. That's what I mean by extremely pentecostal. I have to say that, that is one reason why growing up I wasn't the most social kid around. I was shy, super duper sensitive ( i still am) and I had a hard time making true friendships. Besides all that my parents were so OVER protective. We couldn't go over friends houses to go to a parties, sleep overs WHAT?!?! ne se diga! So you could imagine, my already natural habits were getting worse. To top it off my parents where at church, whats seemed like 24hrs a day. No joke! And please don't get me wrong I love my parents to death, this isn't a rant of how horrible my life was growing up, its just a way so you could get to know me a little better. I absolutely thank God for the household he chose for me, and now at my age would never for a million yrs have it any other way.

I have an older brother, who was and is the one who will always pick on his sister. I love him so much and am so proud of him and the person that he is allowing God to mold. He is going to get married this year, WOOHOO. I also have a younger sister who by the way is pretty darn AH-MAY-SING! She has become my best friend, and my I add she was one of the first people to start leading me to repentance! Well knowing what I know now, it was the Holy Spirit. But any who, that's a bit about my growing up and my family.

Now for the more interesting part of the story. Lol! I was saved in 2004 at a Billy Graham crusade here at the Rose bowl in Pasadena California. Billy Graham himself lead the prayer to accept Jesus that night. And I remember clearly that Third Day was leading worship that night. I remember he made the altar call, and I was so hesitant. But my sister looked at me and saw that something in my heart had been stirred. So she said what any christian would say in that situation, or actually maybe just my sister, "do what you want to do" lol maybe she said it in a more delicate way. But anyways, I went I did the prayer, cried my eyeballs out, and then, someone took my information, but come to think of it, no one ever followed up with me. Hmm, I wonder what happened to my info. It must be in the christian database, under the title of ' need to contact immediately'! lol! I didn't have this radical change happen to me. For me, its been a snail pace change, believe me. S.N.A.I.L pace.

The moment that I felt the radical change of Gods ultimate love, was one day in my shower. It really all hit me at once and I had come to my wits end. And the thing that led to that moment was a serious case of DEPRESSION, dun, dun, dun!

I had spent the previous 2 and 1/2 years under a serious "spell" of depression. I didn't find joy in the things I would normally find joy in. My sarcasm level increased 2 fold, 3 fold maybe even 4 fold. The thought of suicide never did enter my mind, I think because I was to scared that my parents would come hunting me down in the "after life" just to give me a good whooping! lol!

But on the real, I never thought of suicide, but I did want to runaway from life. It hurt too bad. Even taking a breath hurt. I would cry every chance I got. I felt so incredibly alone. I mean, when I say I felt alone I felt alone. I hated myself. I hated my family, my friends where never true friends cause they didn't know what I was going through. Nobody asked, therefore in my mind they didn't care. What a lie! That's why I call it a spell! Its like the devil snatched my body and made me a puppet. No happiness what so ever. No light at the end of the tunnel. And in my mind NO BODY REALLY LOVES ME! I HATE MY LIFE! I NEED TO LEAVE THIS JOINT CAUSE I CANT BREATHEEEEEE HERE!! That's exactly what I felt and there was no one around. I was sucking the life out of myself and there was no one around to help me. I had pushed people so far away from my life that I didn't know where to turn. And the devil was just laughing, pulling the strings tighter around my neck. Little did I know that I was the one who made my own noose .

The morning of my deliverance came in such a weird form. I totally did not see that coming. And the situation the Lord used was so unpredictable as always! I became jealous of my sister. I had been with out a job for almost 2 years and she came back from a job interview that day boasting about how good it went and that she loved the place and how much they would pay, and inside of me a pang of jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. OOOh I hated her at that very moment. But at the same time I hated myself for what I was feeling. So I went into the shower, pretty much right after our convo, and as soon as the water hit me, it was burning me. The rage that was inside was so strong! I remember at that very moment I asked why? still no answer! I was so angry with God for yet again not answering me. So I finished I stepped out of the shower and the flow of tears just came, at that very moment I hear a voice saying,  'ask me for help, not the why' and as hard as it was I held my head and just said ' i need you Jesus, I cant do this by myself anymore. Please help me' And the craziest thing happened right at that moment. I felt like this dark veil come up from my feet and undo itself from around my head. And all of a sudden I was seeing myself. Not the image of the person I used to be but the new creation. And I saw a brilliant light surrounding me, and at that very moment I felt the embrace of my father. I felt the love of my Daddy saying to me I LOVE YOU DAUGHTER!!

And ever since then my life has not and will not ever be the same. I have my struggles here and there, and the Devil is known for using old ammo, so every now and then I feel the sting of my old depression hit, but it will never be me making that noose.

I plan on always living my life with the Love of Christ in the fore front of my thoughts. That even in my moments of wilderness, which I know there is more to come, will I ever let myself think that I am alone. Because that is far from the truth. I want my life to reflect thankfulness toward my one true love and most important I want to live my life with a connection so deep to the friend who is closer then my skin, Holy Spirit!

Oh my dear dear friend. Without You this life of mine would be uncontrollable chaos. Without you in me, my life would be my own. And that is unimaginable. I love you Holy Spirit, more then the air that I breathe. The thought of your presence in me, brings tears to my eyes. I love you my dear friend, my comfort in time of need. You bring me closer to the presence of my Creator and for that I am indebted to you.

Well there's a little about me! I cant wait to share more of my heart with all of you! Love you!

Remember to live your life, from Glory to Glory to Glory! Praise God in the downs just as much as in the ups. He is always with you! No matter how deep in the wilderness you are.


Much love and blessings from a Daughter of the Most High :)

A New Beginning

(Image: Google Images)

Hello Readers!
If you're reading this, you probably learned about Revelations of a Daughter by either Facebook or Instagram. I thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart for checking out this blog. Your time and attention is incredibly appreciated!

Let me give you a little back story to why I, Alyssa Ponce, even started this blog:

I've always liked to write... whether its a letter, email, fb post, fictional story, essay, journaling, anything... the list goes on. Well, I was searching for another way of glorifying Poppa. At that time, I found myself learning a lot in a quick time and wanted to pour into someone else's life... one of the problems is that, I didn't really know who or where to start with. Then it hit me, (thank You, Holy Spirit)... what if i blogged about what I learned? Somebody out there should/could/would be able to relate, right? Well, that's what I hoped and prayed for! However, my posts seemed to be all over the place... from community service to rants... it felt like something just wasn't clicking... but what was I doing wrong? Haha. That brings me to now :)

Now, more than ever I've had the opportunity to notice and appreciate how everybody that I come into contact with is different. How we all go through different trials and tribulations... How we deal and cope with our circumstances... How we speak, act, think... Our backgrounds... Our strengths and weaknesses..

ALL DIFFERENT.

It's beautiful, really. I'm reminded of a sisterhood... brotherhood... better yet... of family. We all come together to support each other... to be a part of something bigger than our individual selves... to bring out the best in each other. Like a beautiful, vibrant, fragrant bouquet of flowers. One flower on its own may be pretty, but when you put various types of flowers and arrange them just right... WOW! Each one "shines" on its own while still highlighting the beauty of the others around.

(Image: Google Images)

So what's your point, Alyssa??? Well... my point is that I have come to the realization that in order for this blog to thrive and really serve its purpose to glorify God, 

I can't do this on my own. 

 Yes, of course I can continue posting blogs just about my life and my experiences... but my life and experiences are all existent for a purpose that is not my own. I would hate to hinder the impact that this site can have by limiting it to one perspective. That is why I have asked an ELITE group of women... and men (differing in age, stages in their walk with Christ, personality, culture, background, interests, circumstances) if they would be willing to pour out into this blog forum, this ministry... because in reality... that's what we all will be doing, ministering to complete strangers. 

Each of the individuals that I have asked, loves the LORD wholeheartedly and expresses it in totally different ways. I believe that they have accepted to join me because of their love for our Abba... and their passion to spread that love to YOU (the reader), in hopes that you may spread that to others that we may not be able to reach. I pray that Holy Spirit touches your heart and stirs something inside of you so that you truly are impacted by this and in turn are driven to impact others.

Please stay tuned for the first post which will be up soon! I invite you to participate. Lets bring this thing to LIFE!!! Feel free to comment, either to ask, add, or just co-sign what the author said (remember... a little encouragement goes a long way). If you feel that you would like to submit a post, please, please, PLEASE do not hesitate... you can message it to the Revelations of a Daughter Facebook page (www.facebook.com/RevelationsOfADaughter). Feel free to post prayer requests or anything that you feel led to. You are loved!!!

Be blessed,

A Daughter.